Saturday 23 February 2008

Real spam of genius

One of the fun things about a email address is that you get a subtly different kind of spam. Dodgy "tuition fee funding" emails from half-wits, say:

Tel: 0705-381-2013
Fax: 0705-381-2013


Dear sir/ma,

I am Dr Cheryl Mayfeild; Director ,Student Funding, Westfam Foundation. It has come to my notice that you may want an eligibility in our limited funding for this year as we have a targeted funding of 10,000 students and in which 7,500 have applied.

This may be only the first step in making up your mind whetherto take a free fund of 10,000GBP to augment or cover your tuition fees , living expenses,accomodation,etc. and it is important that you make the right decision for you.

The list of questionaire at the bas e of this letter is your application form which must be filled and emailed back to , for official registration.

Further information is also available on our mini-site http://westfamfoundation
Sincerely yours,
Dr Cheryl Mayfeild.

fill this Application form:

student informmation

Course Name:
College/university Name:
Full Name:
Zip Code
Personal Email:

Drivers License
State Issued:
License Number:

Parent or Guardian Data
Parents Names
Parents Phone
Parents E-mail Address
Father's Employer

Privacy Report:
This is to assure you that none of your information shall released to any third party (except on your permission). we run a private encryption database to keep your information safe and secure.
We store and process your personal information in our database, and we protect it by maintaining physical, electronic and procedural safeguards in compliance with applicable federal and state regulations. We use computer safeguards such as firewalls and data encryptionn to safe-guard your information.
Thanks for your understanding,
Westfam Foundation

I could point out all the missing apostrophes, too, but it's not worth the effort. Maybe they're a legitimate UK operation like their blog (check it out; blogger doesn't want to delete it for some reason) suggests, and they just got confused about what country their prospective benificiaries are in. Or not. Those phone numbers are personal-use call-forwarding by the way. I'd call them up to take the piss, but I suspect they're routing to a premium rate phone scam number. Hey, it looks like teachers can benefit too!

You also get the latest breakthroughs, straight to your inbox:

Definitive Periodic Law is revealed in arrangement of new Periodic Table, repeating sequential numbers of protons discovered in Groups 1 through 18 in the elements of the new ENERGY WAVE of the Periodic Table. The elements in the new ENERGY WAVE of the Periodic Table are given in the ground state, which is one electron for each proton. This arrangement provided a unique opportunity to observe the nucleus of the elements. By incorporating the sequential numbers of protons underlying the Energy Levels K, L, M, N, O, P, & Q in shell blocks s, p, d, and f of the Group elements, it revealed what had been hidden and veiled in the complexity of electron configurations. Sequential numbers of protons are observed to repeat in the Group elements from period to period. This is the true revealed energy force creating the similar physical and chemical properties of Groups 1 through 18 from period to period in the Periodic Table. The ENERGY WAVE of the Periodic Table had revealed Definitive Periodic Law… “Definitive Periodic Law is the number of protons underlying the Energy Levels K, L, M, N, O, P, & Q, in the nucleus of the Elements. These sequential numbers of protons repeat in shell blocks s, p, d, and f, forming groups that have similar physical and chemical properties from period to period.” These sequential numbers of protons are the cornerstones of the nucleus and provide the atomic orbitals of the electrons the foundation for their spatial relationship to the nucleus as described by the azimuthal (angular) and magnetic numbers of quantum chemistry. These sequential numbers of protons are very important, as they reveal new explanation to chemical bond angles and the molecular geometry and structure of molecules.

ISBN-13: 978979623510

Publisher: Energy Spectrum Publishing

Publish Date: November 2007

80 pp 70 Color illustrations

Formatting as in the original. I imagine that if you took a high school chemistry student, kept him up all night before his exams, pumped him full of caffiene, and told him you were going to shoot him if he didn't get an A, that's the sort of thing you'd get on the paper. Either he's restating a lot of what we know about chemistry and nuclear physics in a completely obscure way, or it's word salad. The "periodic law" is the cycle of properties you get when you arrange elements by mass, and it does allow you to get some useful predictions out as a described in that post. Although it's a very good model, it's limited to an approximation of the real, deep quantum mechanical behaviour which gives rise to that cycle. You run into areas where that approximation doesn't hold, so you have to accept that the properties of elements aren't just a function of their mass and that there's something else going on. (One of the nice things about learning chemistry is that you gradually learn more and more complex models, but don't leave the old ones behind. It's like running through the scientific method in time-lapse, and gives you a better feel for how science as a discipline works as a result.)

Anyway, I certainly can't make head nor tail of the email, even with the help of their website. Any takers? I'm tempted to blow the $25 on ordering a copy for entertainment value (I buy Nexus for the same reason, and I'd be doing them a favour), but quack physics has a tendency to be both bizarre and boring. (Okay, maybe real physics has that problem sometimes, but at least it's useful and does cool stuff).

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